Sunday, September 09, 2012

Monkey Bites: Great Moments In Weird Newspaper Headlines

Illegal monkey living on Frosted Flakes bites woman (h/t Drudge)

For some reason it's the Frosted Flakes bit that makes this headline really twisted for me. Was it the Frosted Flakes that put the monkey over the edge? Was it a sugar-rush thing? Are Frosted Flakes considered a monkey-delicacy, and this is the monkey equivalent of saying "living high on the hog", "living in the lap of luxury"? I mean, just what is the import of the Frosted Flakes detail? What are they saying? (And where's a Hobbesian philosopher when we need one to deconstruct this for us ?)

And, call me old-fashioned, but I don't think there's any such thing as an illegal monkey; in my book he's just undocumented. America is the only country he's ever known! (I heard that line this week at the 'Crats' Convention.) And, for all I know, he may be a Canadian undocumented monkey. Where is Obama's Dream Act when it's really needed?

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Anon1152 said...

Perhaps the Monkey was on a sugar high.

Seriously though: are you comparing immigrants to monkeys?

RkBall said...

No. Just riffing off the new connotation "illegal" now has in some quarters.

Anon1152 said...

I admit, I liked the term "undocumented monkey" until I thought about the potential implications.


He's not illegal. Biting people is illegal.

If only we could communicate with monkeys enough to make that make sense...

"... nothing intellectually compelling or challenging.. bald assertions coupled to superstition... woefully pathetic"