The United Church of Pizza: Slip, Slidin' Away

Image by The United Church of Canada via Flickr

Moderator Mardi Tindal has offered a blog response to the recent National Post article.

Ball Bounces Paraphrase: You don't have to believe anything in particular to belong to the United Church of Pizza. If you show up at the restaurant, you're in!

It would be helpful if Mardi would define what she means by faith. Usual definitions of Christian faith include the following two ideas:

a) content-specific assertions about God and Jesus Christ, e.g., the Apostles Creed, the Nicene Creed.

b) belief, and more specifically, trust in a person, e.g., Thomas' "my Lord and my God", and Peter's "but we believe by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ we shall be saved".

You can contrast these beliefs with Mardi's. Mardi's expressed faith is largely contentless. No "no other name by which you must be saved" for Mardi! No "except you repent you shall all perish!"

She makes clear that, at the United Church of Pizza,  Jews Muslims, and "persons of other faiths" are equally members. So, not only "Christians" belong to the United Church of Pizza, but also "persons of other faiths" who have "'entered' the faith". It's not even coherent. Does your house pizza come with pepperoni? May-be. If you like. How do you feel about pepperoni? Let's think deeply about this.

Well, it has something to do with Jesus. But not faith in Jesus per se; more like following his example, or, at least, engaging in practices that are consonant with his example, whether you've even heard of him or not. As an example of this liberal slipperiness, Mardi talks about following "the way of Jesus". Christians are not called to follow the way of Jesus. They are called to follow Jesus. There's a difference.

I have decided to follow Jesus, imperfectly, falteringly, yes, but, on this rock I stand -- all other ground is sinking sand.

And that's the way the Ball bounces.

Related articles

• The Nicene Creed - (insertcoinshere.wordpress.com)
• The split in the United Church (life.nationalpost.com)
• Our Faith: Historic Creeds & Confessions - The Nicene Creed (missoulaurc.wordpress.com)

The United Church of Pizza: He's A Peasant

                       Image via Wikipedia

Apparently, according to Gretta, the United Church of Canada's resident atheist-minister, Jesus was nothing more than "a first century peasant with a few charismatic gifts and a great posthumous marketing team".

Well, I would like to join Gretta's worship team. Here's my contribution.

(To the tune of She's a Woman.)

My Lord don't give me presents 

I know he's just a peasant

Only wish he had to give me love forever and forever

My Lord don't give me presents

He ain't there when I get lonely

People may think that I'm only

Foolin', you know, I isn't 

He's a peasant, please understand

He's a peasant, just a dead man

I wonder if liberals (or "progressives" -- because liberals aren't apostate enough for Gretta) use the term peasant to describe people today -- it sounds like a put-down to me. At any rate, if he was a peasant, he was a peasant to whom gifts from Magi were brought -- gifts of gold, incense, and myrrh, indicating he was a king, a priest, and a sacrifice. And he was a "peasant" of whom God said, "this is my Son, in whom I am well-pleased". And, of course, he was a "peasant" whom God vindicated by raising him from the dead.

Works for me.

And that's the way the Ball bounces.

The United Church of Pizza: Celebrate Diversity (And Save The Clock Tower!!!)

               Image via Wikipedia

From The National Post:

The article centred on Reverend Gretta Vosper, an avowed atheist and [United Church] minister in Toronto, who wrote a popular book about her disbelief a few years ago called With Or Without God.

Rev. Vosper, who would be considered a heretic in any other denomination and likely dumped out on her ear, is tolerated in some quarters of the United Church, even to the point of enthusiasm.

“I celebrate Gretta and others like her who cause us to think more deeply about the nature of our faith,” said Ms. Tindal, the church’s Moderator.

“One of the things we’re seeing is a greater tolerance for paradox. What Gretta has done has ignited a fresh conversation and invigorated the discussion. This is in the DNA of our Church: to invite this open, deep, broad conversation to be the body of Christ.

“Besides, you can’t talk about post-theism without talking about God,” she explained, pointing out the positive side of having a minister who is an atheist.

Ah, well then.

It's like talking about a pizza where, upon closer inspection, there's no dough, no sauce, no cheese, and no pepperoni. It makes you reflect more openly, deeply and broadly about why you're still hungry and there's this strange gnawing in your gut. And why, at the corporate level, serving phantom pizza slices is a declining business model at United Church of Pizza.

How did it all happen?

First, they took away the sauce. People suspected something had changed, but they couldn't quite put their fingers on it (literally). Then, they dropped the pepperoni, but, not to worry, they still believed in Cheeses!  Then, in spite of their scripture which said, "blessed are the cheese-makers!", they decided that committing to Cheeses was exclusionary -- what about the lactose intolerant??!! They quietly removed the cheese until finally they were left with a crust. (They still have pictures of Cheeses on their walls.) Finally, they decided that crust was bad for the environment and people with allergies, and in the name of inclusivenss and saving-the-earth and all that's holey, dropped the crust.

Me? I'll take a church that's serves up all-you-can-eat double cheese and pepperoni. More, Lord!

Saving a clock tower is about all the UC would be capable of these days.

And that's the way the Ball bounces.

PS - beautiful logo. Makes you weep.