Saturday, May 14, 2011

The United Church of Pizza: Celebrate Diversity (And Save The Clock Tower!!!)

United Church of Canada               Image via Wikipedia
From The National Post:
The article centred on Reverend Gretta Vosper, an avowed atheist and [United Church] minister in Toronto, who wrote a popular book about her disbelief a few years ago called With Or Without God.
Rev. Vosper, who would be considered a heretic in any other denomination and likely dumped out on her ear, is tolerated in some quarters of the United Church, even to the point of enthusiasm.
I celebrate Gretta and others like her who cause us to think more deeply about the nature of our faith,” said Ms. Tindal, the church’s Moderator.
“One of the things we’re seeing is a greater tolerance for paradox. What Gretta has done has ignited a fresh conversation and invigorated the discussion. This is in the DNA of our Church: to invite this open, deep, broad conversation to be the body of Christ.
“Besides, you can’t talk about post-theism without talking about God,” she explained, pointing out the positive side of having a minister who is an atheist.
Ah, well then.

It's like talking about a pizza where, upon closer inspection, there's no dough, no sauce, no cheese, and no pepperoni. It makes you reflect more openly, deeply and broadly about why you're still hungry and there's this strange gnawing in your gut. And why, at the corporate level, serving phantom pizza slices is a declining business model at United Church of Pizza.

How did it all happen?

First, they took away the sauce. People suspected something had changed, but they couldn't quite put their fingers on it (literally). Then, they dropped the pepperoni, but, not to worry, they still believed in Cheeses!  Then, in spite of their scripture which said, "blessed are the cheese-makers!", they decided that committing to Cheeses was exclusionary -- what about the lactose intolerant??!! They quietly removed the cheese until finally they were left with a crust. (They still have pictures of Cheeses on their walls.) Finally, they decided that crust was bad for the environment and people with allergies, and in the name of inclusivenss and saving-the-earth and all that's holey, dropped the crust.

Me? I'll take a church that's serves up all-you-can-eat double cheese and pepperoni. More, Lord!

Saving a clock tower is about all the UC would be capable of these days.

And that's the way the Ball bounces.

PS - beautiful logo. Makes you weep.
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Charles said...

I left the united church because they left the the gospel for this silliness. Let the dead bury the dead.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know where one can find United Church property for sale? There is a Indian Pentecostal Church pastor I know who is looking for a permanent facility for their congregation.

RkBall said...

Hey -- I was just thinking, someone who still knows how to make pizza should just come in with a buy-out offer!

What part of the country, dude?

Anonymous said...

But there were some who resisted:

The local United Church here in Streetsville still preaches the gospel as do the Anglican and Presbyterian churches.

RkBall said...

Delighted to hear this!

And that is why God does not abandon his people. We pray for the renewal of these churches.

Martin said...

A moderator of UCC who is not an ordained minister,a prominent minister and author an atheist, a satirist couln't improve on this material. No wonder the UCC is losing members to other serious denominations.

RkBall said...

Thank you for the satirist comment! It will cause us to reflect more openly, deeply and broadly -- we celebrate you!

Anonymous said...

Oh the irony here because Gretta opines about how the Man-made faiths have changed and become corrupted by idols and misleading Holy books .
But 200 years from now the "Gretta" faith will have HER book held up above God and man, her followers will have marble statues of the Holy-one(Gretta) that gave us the REAL message from Mother Earth.
But by then there will be another person claiming that she was all wrong and that only a Lesbian can talk to Mother Earth for the True "Gretta" message.

She will not bash islam in canada because she fears the very HRC's she supports for her Right to bash jesus and his followers. Don't even include her fear from the islamists in canada wanting her in a Burka or just plain dead,we all share that fear and it's about 6 billion people threatened by the global Shariah Law Caliphate they want to impose because Allah loves us so much.

RkBall said...

I didn't know Gretta had a following.

Anonymous said...

a minister of what? false gods.

"... nothing intellectually compelling or challenging.. bald assertions coupled to superstition... woefully pathetic"