Saturday, May 07, 2011

Ball Bounces Exclusive: The Real Reason Osama Was Taken Out

Informed sources reveal to the Ball Bounces the story-behind-the-story. The real reason Osama was taken out?  He had a secret, illegal cable feed running into his shabby Pakistani compound! The whole operation was, apparently, instigated and under-written by the cable company!!

An unnamed cable company operative was quoted as saying, "Look, we didn't know we had a high-value target here; all we knew was we had a guy who was getting cable and not paying for it -- and that's wrong!

It's believed the Pakistani cable company is owned by a shadowy cabal of profiteering Americans, with Dick Cheney (!!) being named as one of the key figures behind the company.

                                 Photo of Osama getting illegal cable - cable wire clearly visible

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"... nothing intellectually compelling or challenging.. bald assertions coupled to superstition... woefully pathetic"