Climate Change Science circa 2024

English: Long-term average precipitation by month (mm/day and in/day), based on 1961-1990 data. Animated GIF. Mollweide projection. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sept 2, 2024. NY NY, MexiUSA. The UN confirmed today that the chief cause of climate change has been determined: it is caused by massive carbon-spewing HAL climate modelling computers. Climate models produced by these computers show that, unless the plug is pulled immediately on these carbon hurlers, the Earth will soon enter a climate death spiral.

However, Chief Scientist Morkle Mangg, representing the government-funded Consensus R Us Consortium of Concerned Scientists (CRUCCS), disputed the results. He said a cautious, go-slow approach was appropriate: “Really, we don’t know what in HAL is going on”, he said. “This is no time for alarmism. A bit of skepticism is in order here, a bit of  humility. Look, climate is not some rinky-dink greenhouse glass-closed system that can be mapped by tree rings; it is unbelievably complex: there are unknown knowns, known unknowns, known knowns, unknown unknowns — none of us really has a clue what’s going on. What we are sure of is this: this is no time to pull the plug on anything — especially climate science funding. Of this we are absolutely certain.”