Not Muslim Terror Suspect -- that would be insensitive. Not Islamic Terror Suspect -- ditto.
Let's go with Christmas Terror Suspect and redirect the reader's thoughts to a nice, safe Christian holiday.
Wait a minute. I thought Christmas was cancelled. Shouldn't that be Winterfest Terror Suspect?
Glad that Time at least correctly identifies him as an allegedly suspect suspect. Just 'cause you've got a bomb strapped to your undies doesn't mean you plan to use it. I mean, we've all done this, right? How do we know the guy next to him didn't set his pants on fire? And how do we know this wasn't some kind of radical hemorrhoid treatment?! Reasonable Doubt!
It worked for O.J.
I'd like to see the dream team reassembled to defend him. We can get a holographic Johnny Cochrane hissing, "he'sss innocccent!" And, concerning collection of the undie evidence, "How about that, Mr. Fung!!!".
Because, dear readers, if the undie-pants don't fit, you must acquit!
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