The way the Ball bounces: 2012

Monday, December 31, 2012

Toronto British Airways Check-in Nazi Update Angel

English: none (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Flying BA Toronto to London Heathrow then on down to Johannesburg. Bought an American Airlines codeshare ticket -- was almost $500 less than the price quoted on the BA website.

Checked in.

BA check in lady insisted I measure my Porter Case. It wouldn't fit the bin by about 1/4 inch.

I've flown for years with this bag without any trouble.

I tried looking helpless. Didn't work.

She suggested I go home and get a soft-sided bag. I said that wasn't going to happen.

She suggested I go and buy a soft-sided bag in the terminal. "And what do I do with this ($250) bag?" I asked. "You leave it here". Not going to happen I said.

The plane simply could not take off with this oversized rollaboard. The plane simply would not fly. The bin wouldn't close, and that locks the wheels, or something.

What was going to happen was I was going to cough up $65 for a 2nd checked bag.

Which, being Canadian, I did.

Can't really fault her. She was within her rights. And, she did get me an aisle seat to LHR and an aisle/bulkhead on down to Jo-burg. Plus, I saved a bundle by booking AA.

Statistics Canada: if you are reading this, please put me down for an unexpected $65 drop in net earnings this year. You'll probably have to re-work your whole economic forecast for 2013, so get busy. Thank you.

*Important Update*

I was bumped up to Arctic Char and champagne flat-bed business class. Was it the wonderful check-in lady who both enforced the BA rules and took care of her customer? Or was it the outrageously expensive Amex card I sued to pay for the extra piece of luggage (I got the card for 50,000 bonus Aeroplan points)? Or was it God's blessing? Who knows. Thank you thank you thank you!

The Ball Bounces To... Johannesburg

Chisokone Market in Kitwe/Zambia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I'm off to Africa to teach an Apologetics course at Trans-Africa Theological College in Kitwe, Zambia. Flying into Johannesburg, attending a missions conference, then driving up through Zimbabwe into Zambia. Will be gone 3 weeks and change. Will try to do a post or two over at

goodnewsforzambia.blogspot. com

And that's the way the Ball bounces.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Is It Time For A Hands Registry?

Mayor: Keep 2 NY subway push deaths in perspective

Canada may need to offer to provide the US with a hands registry at a cost not to exceed (channelling Austin Powers) TWO MILLION DOLLARS!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Mark Steyn on Gun Controls in Schools: the Arizona Connection

State Seal of Arizona. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

"Instead of having these namby-pamby gun-free zones, it would be much better to have a situation where a school district designates somebody -- a member of the community, a teacher, a custodian -- to be the person who is armed. They would make a huge difference." - Mark Steyn

Speak of the devil...

Arizona legislator Horne proposes arming 1 educator per school...

I kind of like the idea. It would have come in handy back in Canada a bunch of years ago when the fatherless son of a Muslim immigrant, Marc Lépine, took his legally obtained Mini-14 rifle and went on his murderous rampage -- an event immortalized in Canada's annual remembrance of the risks of Muslim immigration and being raised fatherless (just kidding on that last dreadfully politically incorrect comment -- the event has been appropriated by perfectly politically correct forces).

Having spent time in both Arizona and New Hampshire (channeling Bill Murray now... "New Hampshire?!), I would say Arizona lives closer to New Hampshire's "Live Free or Die" motto. In Arizona, we get Groupons for gun training.

It would certainly give a would-be villain pause to think the citizen he's thinking of ripping-off may be packin' heat. I know it makes me stop and think twice before rolling a guy.

Arizona's motto, by the way, is Ditat Deus. In keeping with the spirit of the season I am offering an annual subscription, free and postage-paid, to the first Ball Bounces reader who can tell us what this motto means without Googling it.

Even if you don't know, go for it -- how wrong can you be?

Happy 3rd day of Christmas!

Related articles

Statistics Canada -- Ugh!

For at least the last decade I have been inflicted with twice-annual Statistics Canada requirements to report on the capital expenditure plans and then actuals for my small business. The only capital expenditure that ever comes up is the decision whether to buy a new laptop, or not. Apparently the government of Canada cannot function without knowing this vital bit of data -- "2K, or not 2K -- that is the question".

Filling out the form for the most part consists of filling out innumerable zeroes in as many creative ways as possible in as many irrelevant or incomprehensible places as possible. I've pleaded with them to go find somebody else to statisticize, but, as they say, "they've got my number". My only consolation is I just know there's some Statistics Canada person sitting somewhere right now dreaming about my form and when he or she is going to get it.

My business is registered in Prince Edward Island. The letter I have in hand was sent from Edmonton and is from the Western Region and Northern Territories. Apparently they subscribe to the butterfly effect theory. A small business owner flaps his wings in PEI, goes out and buys a MacBook Air, and, voila, the economy of the Northern Territories comes to a crashing halt or, maybe, a rushing crescendo of new economic activity.

The letter gets sent from Edmonton. It's about PEI. It gets filled-out in Toronto and then mailed to Ottawa. I am a one-man national project -- without me, Canada would collapse!

And that's the way the Ball bounces.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas!

christmas paint (Photo credit: cassie_bedfordgolf)

Merry Christmas from the Ball Bounces --

May your days be merry and bright

And all your Christmases be white.

Here's my Christmas song for you...

God kissed the world on Christmas day.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

ServiceOntario Website -- Ugh!

The words "service" and "government" should probably not be used in the same sentence. There's always a noticeable drop in service level between a government agency and an entity that needs to care whether you like them or not, e.g., Amazon.

ServiceOntario is no different.

I just spent 20 minutes dutifully and obediently going through the screens to set up a ServiceOntario ID so I could have the privilege of having my info sent electronically rather than through the mail -- all this to circumvent yet another government agency -- Canada Post.

I go through at least half a dozen screens, get whacked at least two or three times on my password choice, then am required to submit at least four (4!) personal identifier questions -- more security questions than a bank -- get through all of this, agree to the final terms, hit enter and... nothing.

I hit Help and then and only then am informed that the website only supports two browsers, and, unlucky me, mine is not one of them.

I obediently and submissively switch over to Firefox -- Amazon never makes me do this -- and try again. I know, I know, I must be a masochist.

"Getting started with My Account is simple and free." No, it is not. How about, "This is going to be a needlessly complex, convoluted bother"?

I key in the requisite information and get this error message:

Mandatory Password Recovery Info

This ID Recovery Key is already used. Please enter another value.

* Required input completed

Huh? "enter another value" and "required input completed" -- which is it?

And how can the recovery key ID already have been used when I just entered it?!

I try, try, and try again, but nothing works.

If you cancel the registration process now, your ONe-key ID will not be created.
Until you complete the registration and sign the Terms and Conditions of Use, you will not be able to use the ONe-key ID to access the ONe-key enabled services.
To confirm that you want to cancel this process, select Yes. To resume the registration process, select No.

YES.

I will try ONE MORE TIME.

SAME ERROR MESSAGE --

Bail again.

One more time.

I finally realize part of the problem -- the error message is nowhere near the field that actually needs to be corrected. I have been trying to correct the field immediately below the error message. Recovery key ID and personal ID questions all look, sound, and mean the same thing to me the novice user.

For the ID Recovery Key I enter something like "I really have no clue what this recovery key is", because, really I don't. I copy/paste to re-enter it.

The system likes it.

I'm in.

Now that I'm registered, I go to the screen where I enter my licence plate and driver's licence and get signed up for automatic mailing. Seems to me we could have just started there -- what's your name, licence plate, and driver's licence ID?

An hour of my life, irretrievably gone.

And that's the way the Ball bounces.

UPDATE: I just signed up for online access to my Priority Pass, an airport lounge access card. They required me to enter my Priority Pass ID, the password they provided, a new password -- they accepted my "lame" alphanumeric one, and my mother's maiden name as an identity question. Then, as they say in bilingual government circles, voila.

Two minutes, max.

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Ask Not What Your Country... Oh, Wait.

Detroit skyline (Photo credit: Bernt Rostad)

Detroit to Obama: We voted for you, now bail us out.

What a difference 50 years of "progressive" politics makes.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

I'm Warming Up to CO2 Sequestration Masks!!!

Global warming ubx (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I'm Warming Up to CO2 Sequestration Masks!!!

Global warming climate realists rejoice -- here's the answer to human-induced CO2 pollution.

As a recent and enthusiastic convert to GWR (global warming reality) I can only say, it's about time!

I mean, look at that planet -- it's on fire!!!

I'm ordering one for me, one for the missus, and one each for Brady and Reggie!

And that's the way the warming-up-to-global- warming Ball bounces.

Related articles

Sunday, December 02, 2012

The US Cuts ONE BILLION DOLLARS From Its Budget!!!

Deficit and debt increases 2001–2009. Gross debt has increased over $500 billion each year since FY2003. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

[corrected]

If I said I bought something for $1,000 and it actually cost $1001, I doubt if you would accuse me of lying -- 1/1000th is a rounding error.

According to the latest by Mark Steyn the US has succeeded in identifying ONE BILLION DOLLARS worth of budget cuts.

Sounds impressive until Steyn points out that the US borrows 188 million dollars each and every week, month in, month out. Did I say month? I meant week. 188 million dollars each and every week, week in, week out. Did I say week? I meant hour. Hour! 188 million dollars per hour each and every day each and every week each and every month each and every... you get the idea. So, out of an annual budget, the US has cut about 6 hours worth of borrowing.

Think about your annual budget. Cutting out 5 hours worth of living expenses wouldn't even show up, would it? I mean it's 1/4 of a day. If it were about 1/3 of a day it would represent about 1,000th of your annual budget (365*3).

It's a rounding error.

And that's the way the Ball bounces.

Friday, November 30, 2012

PowerBall Winners and the 99%

English: A map showing U.S. states currently offering Powerball and Mega Millions, as of June 2009. Red states offer PowerBall, blue states offer Mega Millions, and fuchsia states offer both. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

PowerBall winners are in the news, and, no, PowerBall is not a nickname given to me when I make one of my explosive posts.

But wait. Who buys lottery tickets? Isn't it mainly 99%ers?

'Cause I thought 99%ers were all about dispersement of wealth, not the aggregation of wealth into the hands of a few -- which is what this lottery is all about, isn't it? Isn't this reverse 99%er logic? Or does it really show that when the 99%ers attack 1%ers, it's really nothing more than envy?

Isn't every 99%er who buys a lottery ticket at some level a hypocrite? "I want to take from you and you and you and you and you... and give to me."

It's reverse wealth redistribution at work, and it reveals more clearly than any amount of rhetoric the real motives that lurk in the human heart.

At least, that's my take on it.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Bigfoot Sightings and Mean-Spirited PMSH

Bigfoot (Photo credit: naturemandala)

Bigfoot is in the news. Turns out they're half-human!

The pressing issue: shouldn't they have rights, after all, they're only, er, almost human.

But, alas, Canada's mean-spirited Prime Minister Stephen Harper will refuse to recognize Bigfoot because he is narrow and intolerant and exclusionary.

This is the campaign issue the Liberals have been waiting for!!!

They should run on setting up a Bigfoot registry, at a cost not to exceed than two million dollars.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Corporations Stadium: Do The Obamacare Waive!

English: President Barack Obama's signature on the health insurance reform bill at the White House, March 23, 2010. The President signed the bill with 22 different pens. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Imagine a stadium filled with the leaders of American corporations. Now imagine a waive starting in a small corner until it ripples out and becomes a giant waive encompassing the stadium.

Now think of that giant waive as Obamacare waivers -- a sea of waivers flowing from end to end. Pity the saps who don't get in on it.

The US seems unhampered by notions of equal justice. The US playing field is populated with politically favored groups. In the Obama admin, it's Democrat-supporting unions and others. The Obama admin, by granting waivers to Obamacare -- which is supposed to be the "law of the land" -- has embraced the injustice of special-interest favoritism big-time.

"Redistributive justice for you, but not for me."

Michelle Malken weighs in on the Big Obamacare Waive.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

The Left Responds to Applebee's on Obamacare

An Applebee's franchisee indicates he may lay off workers as a result of the financial impact of Obamacare.

The left's reaction to the potential harm to Applebee's franchise employees?

Boycott this Applebee's. Applebee's Franchisee, Says He Won't Hire Because Of Obamacare (VIDEO) huff.to/RoMrpa via @HuffPostSmBiz— Linda Bruce (@lindakaybruce) November 10, 2012

Yeah, that should help -- fire them all!

But, why stop there?

Applebee’s CEO Threatens To Fire Employees (Obamacare) thkpr.gs/S5HgIW | 2 Can Play this game LOSER! Calling 4 National #BOYCOTT— Sean Bond (@iam_seanbond) November 09, 2012

Even better, fire them all!!!

Correct me if I am wrong, but didn't Obama grant exemptions to his "friends"? Why would anyone want/need an exemption if it doesn't have real economic impacts? Hmmm. And why didn't the Left denounce those who were demanding opt-outs??!! Double hmmm.

And that's the way the non-franchised, non-unionized, non-Obamaized Ball bounces.

Friday, November 09, 2012

You Want Your Obamanomics Straight-up, or "On the Rocks"?

While $22,000/month in storage costs go unpaid, the panels consume up to a third of the company's warehouse space. Legal costs have forced CDG to slash payroll and lay off at least three employees. A source with knowledge of CDG's woes told me this week the company is facing pressure by the Department of Energy to drop its petition to recoup those costs. The feds want CDG to swallow a $1.4 million tab to dispose of the bum solar panels.

In this case at least, "on the rocks".

The way the Ball bounces