Monday, February 06, 2012

Road Trip!™ Day One: Toronto - Dayton

Monday Jan 31, 2011
Toronto - Dayton.

The mission: Toronto to Arizona with two dogs and a wife in 5 days or bust. Enjoy the ride!

Toronto to Sarnia. Early stop at McDonalds for the ultimate road food: Egg McMuffins. We order two extra in case of a road emergency. Stop for a final Canadian Tims -- we try out the new extra-big size. We buy an extra large and share it -- anybody else do this?

Connecting Sarnia, Ontario to Port Huron, Michigan
Image via Wikipedia

Across the border in under 10 minutes. Where is everybody? We have applied for Nexus cards to expedite border crossings so we go to the Blue Water Bridge Nexus Center in Port Huron. Obama's millions billions trillions have not, tragically, trickled down to the Blue Water Nexus Center. It's a barren wasteland of a government office complex. Early soviet union decor. There's a US agent and a Canadian agent (both female) working side by side. Kind of makes me tear up. The Canadian agent is Ms. Gruff. Why are you here early, she barks. Like, because we got here sooner than planned? The US agent helpfully informs us that the Canadian agent gets a mandatory lunch period.

So, over to Bob Evans for the first biscuits and gravy of the trip. Where is everybody? Never seen Bob's so empty. Then, back to the Blue Water Bridge complex. Did I mention it's a dump? Elevator not working. Stairways are narrow. The thing has the look and feel of a nuclear bunker in some apocalyptic post-America America. Back for our scheduled interviews. They go swimmingly. Both the American and Canadian agents are friendly and efficient. With Nexus, you don't wait for the agent to ask you, you proactively declare you are bringing in dog food, an orange, and $10,000 in American cash or they revoke your card!

On through Detroit. Talk about post-apocalyptic. Detroit is in a sorry state. Abandoned buildings. Roofs caving in. Windows broken out. I think, "this is what a generation of Democratic socialism where self-esteem accounts for more than competence gets you". (If you have any doubt about this, google the head of Detroit's school system.)

Through Detroit and on down to Ohio. Say hell-o to O-hi-o! Toledo, then Dayton. Spend the night at the dog- and people-friendly Dayton Drury Inn. 6:30 pm -- still a half hour left on Drury's Kick-back!  The steamed hotdogs have seen better days, but still taste good. I over-eat on the potato chips.

And the morning and the evening were the first day.

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"... nothing intellectually compelling or challenging.. bald assertions coupled to superstition... woefully pathetic"