Friday, July 18, 2008
Are You Better Than A Cheezie?
Hawkins Cheezies are the best cheezies on the planet. Hawkins is the only company that can actually call their cheezies cheezies. Other brands, like Frito Lay, have to call their you-wish, wanna-be products cheese twists, or some other lame name.
Hawkins are the crunchiest, cheddar-cheesiest, saltiest, cheezies on the planet.
I'm a fan.
I visited their factory in Belleville, Ontario. Unlike Jelly Bellies in California who have turned their factory into a carnival of color and celebration, the Hawkins Cheezies factory in Belleville is just a factory. Very Canadian. Still, if you're lucky, you can step inside the factory door and breathe in the cheezie fumes.
So, I'm enjoying the huge bag of Cheezies I got at Costco, and trying to ignore the fat content label.
But after all the exchanges I've had recently with atheist blogger-friends, I'm a bit bummed out. Cheezies are the product of design; they were intelligently conceived, they were wanted, they were nursed into being. Me on the other hand, I'm just the product of mindless, impersonal forces. As the country song goes, "Someone wanted Cheezies, but No-one wanted me".
Yes, I am a gazillion times more complex than a Cheezie, and, a higher-order species than a Cheezie.
But, the Cheezie is designed and I am not. It could, in fact, be argued that the Cheezie is of intrinsic higher worth, because it is the product of mind, and I am not. It is the product of will, and I am not. It is the product of intelligence, and I am not. It is a work of love, and I am not. (Unless, of course, I am.)
Still, there is one small consolation.
It is I who get to eat the Cheezie.
And that's the way the orange-fingered Ball bounces.
"... nothing intellectually compelling or challenging.. bald assertions coupled to superstition... woefully pathetic"