The Tyndale-Bush Debacle: Devilish Spawn vs. "Our Lovely School"

Cover of George W. Bush

To the President of Tyndale
16th September 2011 

Dear sir: 

I just returned from an overseas trip and am dismayed (as a graduate of the Ontario Theological Seminary, as Tyndale use to be called) to be informed about an ugly rumour being spread against my alma mater. 

Someone said that the mass murderer George Bush, whose war in Iraq killed, injured and displaced over 1,000,000 people while destroying the country’s infrastructure and increasing child poverty and death had been invited to our school. 

Obviously, anyone who takes the Scripture seriously would never be so blasphemous to mistake George Bush as a Christian because, as Jesus said, “by their fruit you will know them.” 

I will continue, in the midst of my jet lag to try to find out who is spreading this terrible rumor about Tyndale inviting such a devilish spawn to our lovely school. 

Yours truly 

Thomas Corbett

It's hard to know where to start with a letter like this. There's no indication it was meant to be self-satirizing. I would like to think it was written by some fiendish conservative to make the left look ridiculous, but there's no indication of that, either. It appears this is where the fevered leftist brain lands after a long trip abroad. Memo to self: never try to write a cutesy blogpost while jet-lagged. Memo to Thomas: get some sleep.

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As a Tyndale alumnus, I can only say the Tyndale debacle is sad, sad, sad. The damage done will take years to recover from.

PS: I can only assume that that growly old war-monger Winston Churchill would have been chased off campus, while Neville "peace in our time" Chamberlain would have been welcomed with open arms.