Thursday, August 06, 2009

Scottish Sheep Shrinking: "It's Baaaad!" Global Warming Alarmists Cry

[updated with links and a clarification]

Scottish sheep are shrinking like a wool sweater in a hot dryer -- because of Global Warming!! And the globe is warming because of YOU!!!

All these puny Scottish sheep running around and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

A few posts ago, I posted the alarming news that species are shrinking -- first, sheep, then fish, and soon -- humans!!! You may remember -- "this is big!" the study's author reported.

Well, a bit more on the sheep. Turns out the sheep are shrinking not because they've been thrown into the dryer and it's hot, hot, hot, but because a warmer climate is more benign, allowing smaller sheep to survive. So, one way to spin the news would be to talk about the ameliorating effects of a warming earth. You, know,

"All we are saying, is give fleece a chance!"

But That Will Never Do!

Instead, we spin it to show how disastrous "pocket-sized sheep" are going to be to the Scottish sheep industry -- all these runty, sub-par Mickey Rooney sheep baaaing their way across the Scottish highlands, or lowlands, or whatever it is. [Clarification: this is satirical Ball Bounces extrapolation -- not part of the original articles cited.]

But, wait a minute. The story line is supposed to be that humans are bad, and what we are doing is bad for the environment, bad for species. But, this isn't bad for species, this is good for sheep; this is bad, if it's bad at all, for farmers. But farmers, along with the rest of us, are destroyers-of-the-earth. So, I'm confused.

I'm trying hard to be a good card-carrying global warming alarmist, but, it's getting complicated.

Is there a summer camp I can go to?

You know, one where it isn't freeeezing cold?

And that's the way the Scottish Ball-of-wool bounces.

CNN: "Unfortunately it is too early to tell whether a warming world will lead to pocket-sized sheep," said Coulson."


Anonymous said...

"I'm trying hard to be a good card-carrying global warming alarmist, but, it's getting complicated.
Is there a summer camp I can go to?"

- you could try pulling your head out of the sand. That might clear the picture a little more.

Give us the link to the original article and then we can discuss this. You loopy analysis is flying over my head.

RkBall said...

DinTO: Pull my head out of the sand? Are you kidding me? The planet's on FIRE -- I've got my head up in the clouds, trying desperately to escape the heat.

As for a link, you could just google scottish sheep shrinking and take your pick.

But, I'll update the post with a link, for your convenience.

Anonymous said...

my apologies....sometimes my satire radar goes have an interesting blog.

RkBall said...

I'm Canadian -- I like my humor dry and subtle -- to the point where it's often undetectable!

If I'm posting on global warming, you can pretty well count on there being a satirical intent somewhere -- I'm pulling someone's rapidly warming leg...

Warming? The leg is on fire!!!!

"... nothing intellectually compelling or challenging.. bald assertions coupled to superstition... woefully pathetic"