AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRrrrrrggggggggH!!!!!!!

That's the sound of income tax forms being filled in by this taxed-to-the-max Canadian. I just discovered that "I may be subject to Alternative Minimum Tax".

Oh, joy.

And, no, this does not mean that the government has come up with a lower tax rate for me. It means, that it didn't like the number it came up with the first time, so it's going to try again. "Alternative Minimum" means the minimum the government can live with out of me for the next 12 months.

So now I get to fill out form T691 !!!

I'm boldly going where I've never gone before; I'm indicating whether I have capital cost allowance and carrying charges claimed on certified film property acquired before March 1996 etc. etc. And I do mean etc. etc. I think the film property thing is asking me if I developed any rolls of film at WalMart prior to March 1996. That's so long ago, I can't even remember if I had a camera then. Prior to 1996. That's a full twelve years ago. The federal government gets ahold of something and it just will not let it go.

In another part of the QuickTax universe I come across a "partial list" of possible deuctions. Are you ready for this? Here we go:

Abatement - Refundable Québec

Acoustic coupler (Line 330 - Medical expenses)

Adoption expenses

Adult basic education tuition assistance

Advertising and promotion (commission)

Air conditioner (Line 330 - Medical expenses)

Air filter, cleaner or purifier (Line 330 - Medical expenses)

Alberta - Provincial tax

Alimony payments made

Allowable amount of medical expenses for other dependants

Allowable business investment loss (ABIL)

Ambulance

Amount for an eligible dependant

Amount for children born in 1990 or later

Amount for infirm dependants age 18 or older

Amounts transferred from your spouse or common-law partner

Amount transferred from a child - Tuition and education

Amount transferred from a dependant - Disability

Animals (Line 330 - Medical expenses )

Annual union, professional, or like dues

Armed Forces and police deductions

Artificial eye

Artificial limbs

Artistic activities

Attendant care expenses

Audible signal (Line 330 - Medical expenses)

Aunt - Amount for infirm dependants age 18 or older

Aunt - Disability amount transferred from a dependant

And that's just the "A"s!

OUR INCOME TAX SYSTEM IS TOO COMPLEX. HELLO?! IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE LISTENING? OUR INCOME TAX SYSTEM IS TOO COMPLEX. HELLO?! HELLO?!

A number of years ago populist politician Preston Manning suggested a simplified Income Tax form for the Liberals:

Line A: How much money did you make? __________________

Send it in!

I'll feel better when this is over.

And that's the way the tax-time Ball bounces.