I bet I'm not the only one on the planet that loves voice mail.
Wanted to put my mom's wheelchair expense on the Mastercard I have for her (the wheelchair is $900+ with the Ontario government chipping in another $2500 or so -- ya gotta love socialism!).
I get a call back from Therapists' Choice. The amount didn't go through. They got a message "call for authorization". This apparently, was a bridge too far, something they were not prepared to do. They suggested I call Mastercard to find out what was going on.
So I called MBNA Mastercard. They are sneaky. First they ask for your account number. I interpret this to mean my card number, so I dutifully enter this. Then they give you a bunch of options that don't apply, but you must listen to each one. Your account balance. The last payment amount. Your credit limit. The last time you made a purchase for over $25 to a company that start with the letter "K"; that sort of think.
Then, they say, "to complete your call, press #.
Last time I did this, I interpreted complete as in "continue on to completion". What they really mean, is "to hear a dialtone, press #". (Which means you have to phone back and submit to the electronic grilling one more time.)
Anyway, I knew my way around this one, and, although they never announce it as far as I can recall, if you press "0", you step through the wardrobe into a magical land where you are are put on hold to speak to a "customer satisfaction specialist". Not just any ordinary customer satisfaction person. A specialist.
So, I do. I'm asked my birthdate and my mother's maiden name. I give out this information. I explain the problem. I get bounced to "authorizations". I am speaking with Maria. She asks for my birthdate and my mother's maiden name. As I speak this information, I hear a speakerphone saying everything I am saying. I assume that the call is being recorded for security purposes. Followed by a dial-tone.
If this has ever happened to you, you know the despair one feels at this, getting this far, getting cut off, and knowing you have to start over.
I'm sure that what I am experiencing is one of the modern stages of hell, cf. Dante's Inferno.
I phone back. I enter my account number, listen to the options, press zero, pass through the wardrobe, give my birthdate and mother's maiden name, explain my dilemma, and get passed to an MBNA senior security specialist named Jeff.
Jeff wants to know my mother's maiden name and my birthdate. I provide him with this information. As I pass him my birthdate, I realize I am actually aging, getting older, as I go through this dance with MBNA.
Jeff says the amount will be approved (my mom's balance was zero, and credit limit was 5K).
So why didn't it go through first time? Probably an MBNA computer flagged this as a suspicious transaction. The first wheelchair authorization occurring on the last Tuesday in a month starting with "J" -- something like that.
Maybe MBNA just felt like messin' with me.
Or, maybe it's just the way the ball bounces.
6 comments:
These phone menus remind me of the circles of hell in Dante's Inferno.
One has to wonder what sin has led to this punishment.
Perhaps it's just a branch of purgatory.
Richard - have you ever considered sending something like this post in for publication somewhere - for $$$? This is hilarious - and oh-so-true. And, as a Catholic, I fully expect God to give me a Get-out-of-purgatory-100-years-early Card in exchange for time already spent in the voice-mail branch office.
Mr. Ball, this is not a comment on this post but the answer to you question re the meekness of Jesus has been answered, in my opinion, by my granddaughter on my blog.
I do hope you will check it out.
I thank you for the question for I really feel I learned something important.
Much love, Betty
Linda: I got a good chuckle out of the Get-Out-Of-Purgatory-100-years-early card.
By now some of us will have accumulated them like Canadian Tire money for all the telephone menus we have waded through.
"Richard - have you ever considered sending something like this post in for publication somewhere - for $$$"
Well, Scott Feschuk once said I was a very funny guy. It's good to walk on the funny side of life!
Maybe I should contact the Guardian.
So funny! This happens to me all the time! You have to go all around Robin Hood's barn just to get the right person?? Janie Marie
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