An important announcement from the Prime Minister

[TV camera pans in on Paul Martin, who looks up from his notes.]

My fellow Canadians,

I have asked for this air time to address a matter of great importance to us all.

Prior to the election, the Liberal Party of Canada criticized the Conservatives, for forcing an election during the winter months. As you know, we wanted to wait until Spring. [Grin.] Since then, the weather has been mild. Unseasonably mild. Some would say, suspiciously mild.

We know, that Stephen Harper has secret ties to George Bush. We know they are secret, because he won't tell us about them.

Now, it appears, Stephen Harper has secret ties to God. Who has brought this unseasonably mild weather upon the country. To discredit the Liberal Party of Canada.

My fellow Canadians, unlike the Conservatives, the Liberal Party simply cannot, and will not, tolerate outside interference in our elections.

Does Stephen Harper have secret ties to God?

We don't know.

He's not telling.

That is why, as your Prime Minister, I am announcing today, that my first act, as Prime Minister, will be to launch an investigation into Stephen Harper's secret ties to God.

[Cue self-satisfied look. TV camera slowly pans away.]

Thunder booms.