Saturday, January 21, 2006

Fresh Sasquatch sightings - another reason to vote Liberal

According to unidentified sources, Stephen Harper has released a fresh batch of Sasquatch into the wild to divert attention from his radical, far-right Americanized agenda.

When confronted, he denied any knowledge of this. Paul Martin immediately denounced his denials, and demanded to know if Stephen Harper would recognize a Sasquatch's right to choose, salmon or trout, "yes or no"? When Stephen Harper refused to answer, Paul Martin went red in the face and started jumping up and down, shouting, "see, do you see, can you finally see what I am saying about this man?". He was last seen being led away by his handlers.

Meanwhile, it is reported that the Parties are rushing to develop policies, "just in case" Sasquatch sightings are confirmed.

It is reported the Conservatives will sell licenses for sight-seeing expeditions, the Liberals will grant Sasquatch citizenship and extend the definition of marriage accordingly, Jack Layton will beg them to "lend me your votes", and the Green Party will declare the entire province of British Columbia an off-limits nature habitat.

Finally, the Anglican Church of Canada, in a spirit of inclusiveness, suggested that it's next Primate could be a primate.


Linda said...

You're channeling Inkless Wells!

frappeur said...

I think Mr. Martin is leaving lots of Sasquatch spoor around to try to fool us.

frappeur said...

You cannot bring hope when all you have to offer is fear.

Good quote from Rona Ambrose.

frappeur said...

It wasn't a Sasquatch.

It was a grizzly bear. Here's the official report.

A Russian scientist and a scientist from the Czech Republic had spent their lives studying the grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Jasper to study the bears. Finally their request was granted, and they immediately flew to Jasper.

They reported to the ranger station and were told that it was the grizzly mating season and it was too dangerous to go out and study the animals. They pleaded that this was their only chance, and finally the ranger relented.

The Russian and the Czech were given portable phones and told to report in every day. For several days they called in, and then nothing was heard. The rangers mounted a search party and found the camp completely ravaged, with no sign of the missing men.

Following the trails of a male and a female bear, they finally caught up with the female.

Fearing an international incident, they decided they must kill the animal to find out if she had eaten the scientist. They killed the female and opened the stomach to find the remains of the Russian.

One ranger turned to the other and said, "You know what this means, don't you?"

The other ranger responded . . . . . . .

"I guess it means the Czech's in the male."

"... nothing intellectually compelling or challenging.. bald assertions coupled to superstition... woefully pathetic"