According to unidentified sources, Stephen Harper has released a fresh batch of Sasquatch into the wild to divert attention from his radical, far-right Americanized agenda.
When confronted, he denied any knowledge of this. Paul Martin immediately denounced his denials, and demanded to know if Stephen Harper would recognize a Sasquatch's right to choose, salmon or trout, "yes or no"? When Stephen Harper refused to answer, Paul Martin went red in the face and started jumping up and down, shouting, "see, do you see, can you finally see what I am saying about this man?". He was last seen being led away by his handlers.
Meanwhile, it is reported that the Parties are rushing to develop policies, "just in case" Sasquatch sightings are confirmed.
It is reported the Conservatives will sell licenses for sight-seeing expeditions, the Liberals will grant Sasquatch citizenship and extend the definition of marriage accordingly, Jack Layton will beg them to "lend me your votes", and the Green Party will declare the entire province of British Columbia an off-limits nature habitat.
Finally, the Anglican Church of Canada, in a spirit of inclusiveness, suggested that it's next Primate could be a primate.